Occasionally, customers would ask me whether the umbrellas
we sold were “waterproof” or “water resistant” (we had varying models with the
different terms written on their respective labels). Before I could even answer
they would then ask (more talk at me than ask) what was the difference between “waterproof”*
and “water resistance”. I wanted to scream: “It is an Umbrella; a mobile device for keeping one dry when it rains.” Unfortunately
the conventions of retail prevented me from doing so. Instead my mind unraveled
at what the technicality between waterproofing and water-resistance could be in
the context of an umbrella,* a thing that’s declared purpose is to protect the
user from water; rain, to be specific. By the time I had gathered up the
scattered pieces of my mind, and cursed the lawyer who invented the term “water-resistance”,
they had walked off and purchased the “waterproof” model.
Once, on a hot summer’s day, a customer asked me and my
colleague whether we sold fans. My colleague replied, “yes we do sell fans
here. What sort of a fan are you looking for?” The customer replied, “I don’t
mean to be rude mate, but I get really sarcastic to questions like that.” He
wanted to reply: “It is a Fan,
something that blows air to keep you cool when it is hot.” No doubt he was
attempting to appear smart in front of his girlfriend. Before he could do so, I
interrupted and said, “well are you looking for a hand-held fan, a desk fan, or
a fan that can cool fifty people in an office, we sell all three”. He apologized
and purchased a hand held fan.
*I am not sure if that is the proper syntax, is it
waterproofness? … no (despite what spell check says) that can’t be right…
*Of course in the context of another item, like a watch, the
difference between waterproof(ness) and water-resistance has a more measurable
dimension (in the case of a watch, how many meters underwater it can go[which is
measured in ATMs] etc.).
(Further Reading: Stanley Fish, Is there a text in this class?; Ludwig Wittgenstein, Philosophical Investigations.)
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